With the holiday season in full swing and the added stress of shopping, cooking and figuring out how to entertain the kids over the school break I thought I’d lighten things up a bit with a few teacher/student jokes gleaned from other internet sites. They are only meant to amuse. If you have any favorite teacher/student jokes please post them into the comments section for others to enjoy.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
TEACHER: Kathy, go to the map and find North America.
Kathy: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Adela, what is the chemical formula for water?
Adela: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
Adela: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glenn, why do you always get so dirty?
GLENN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Harriett, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
Harriett: I is..
TEACHER: No, Harriett….. Always say, ‘I am.’
Harriett: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand…..
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
TEACHER: Diane, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Diane: A teacher