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A few laughs to lighten things up.

Posted on: Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

With the holiday season in full swing and the added stress of shopping, cooking and figuring out how to entertain the kids over the school break I thought I’d lighten things up a bit with a few teacher/student jokes gleaned from other internet sites.   They are only meant to amuse.  If you have any favorite teacher/student jokes please post them into the comments section for others to enjoy.

TEACHER:    Why are you late?
STUDENT:    Class started before I got here.

TEACHER:    Kathy, go to the map and find North America.
Kathy:           Here it is.
TEACHER:    Correct.  Now class, who discovered   America?
CLASS:         Kathy.

TEACHER:     John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:            You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER:    Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER:    No, that’s wrong
GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER:    Adela, what is the chemical formula for water?
Adela:           H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:    What are you talking about?
Adela:           Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

TEACHER:    Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE:         Me!

TEACHER:    Glenn, why do you always get so dirty?
GLENN:         Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER:     Harriett, give me a sentence starting with ‘  I.  ‘
Harriett:          I  is..
TEACHER:     No, Harriett….. Always say, ‘I  am.’
Harriett:          All right…  ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had the axe in his hand…..

TEACHER:     Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:          No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER:    Clyde , your  composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your   brother’s.   Did you copy his?
CLYDE   :      No, sir.  It’s the same dog.

TEACHER:    Diane, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer  interested?
Diane:           A teacher

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